what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
