idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I want her autograph on my taint
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
