I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
How naked do you want me to be?
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