I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We left the knife in your bed.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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