Will you blow on my dice?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Randomize
