why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
