Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
