i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
