It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
