Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
