have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just pynch a tree in the face
Apparently you make a good broom.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
