did you get engaged???
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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