i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
