weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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