you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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