Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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