My hair reeks of homosexuality.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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