A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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