I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So much rum. So many feels.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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