Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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