if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize