please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
