i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
