chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
