I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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