take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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