Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
