From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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