You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Randomize
