So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
