very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
