Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
