i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
