So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize