tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
