What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
