Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money

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(661): View more from California

No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.

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(613): View more from Ontario

so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits

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The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(239): View more from Florida

all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut

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(313): View more from Michigan

if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it

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(567): View more from Ohio

i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand

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(317): View more from Indiana

Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!

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(732): View more from New Jersey

you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol

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