Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I murdered the dance floor call the cops

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  (757): I murdered the dance floor call the cops http://tfl.nu/jwsp
  Replies (14) Good night (2105) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.

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  (403): you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion. http://tfl.nu/ldji
  Replies (16) Good night (6618) Bad night (548)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.

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  (401): Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick. http://tfl.nu/vuwe
  Replies (17) Good night (1202) Bad night (4114) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes

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  (310): So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes http://tfl.nu/3hm9
  Replies (50) Good night (8873) Bad night (1032) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations

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  (310): It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations http://tfl.nu/cpf7
  Replies (19) Good night (8139) Bad night (930) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk

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  (916): I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk http://tfl.nu/o3lp
  Replies (12) Good night (2131) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them

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  (708): I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them http://tfl.nu/hbhk
  Replies (8) Good night (4057) Bad night (944) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.

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  (651): Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too. http://tfl.nu/vstu
  Replies (4) Good night (2546) Bad night (561) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere

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  (617): i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere http://tfl.nu/fh2k
  Replies (4) Good night (2511) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.

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  (856): i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is. http://tfl.nu/k9ab
  Replies (13) Good night (946) Bad night (2473)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Who are you high with right now?

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  (513): chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it. (513): Who are you high with right now? http://tfl.nu/0n4i
  Replies (11) Good night (1933) Bad night (511)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.

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  (+44): When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone. http://tfl.nu/uct6
  Replies (4) Good night (430) Bad night (1074)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.

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  (202): Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem. http://tfl.nu/fe20
  Replies (2) Good night (297) Bad night (808) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.

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  (630): I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive. http://tfl.nu/thwy
  Replies (13) Good night (707) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear

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  (512): my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear http://tfl.nu/fox2
  Replies (2) Good night (736) Bad night (243) Order T-Shirt

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