My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
