i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
