talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My vagina just clenched in fear
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
