if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think I sprained my soul last night
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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