just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
