yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
