Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
if only i could text you this smell
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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