i think i have herpe
just one?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
