U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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