No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
