kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
