Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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