You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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