i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
