if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
