I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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