mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
