doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
