gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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