hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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