I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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