also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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