JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
