i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
