This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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