I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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