i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
