Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
